As I was leaving my friends house, I noticed he had a tree in his yard that had had it's branches removed. The trunk still stood eight feet tall, so it must've been quite a large tree. Standing in a yard with no grass, it was quite a symbol of barrenness. But I looked again, and behold, new branches were coming out of the tree, for it was very much alive! The sap was still flowing. As long as its roots were planted in the soil, that tree was not going to die.
What can I say? I identify with that tree. After walking on this planet over a half century, what do I have to show for myself? What does anyone, for that matter? I suppose all men come to that point when they realize that far from attaining their dreams, they have gotten ripped off by staying in survival mode. That is more or less how I have lived my life so far: as long as I can make the next house payment, I'm cool. However, there is a cost to the comfortable life. It zaps the dreams right out of a man, and a man without a dream is more dead than alive.
As I was leaving, the verse about seeking first the Kingdom of God came to me. I had sought "all these things" and really never got any of them. Why? Well, that's not the order Jesus commanded! Seek FIRST the Kingdom, that is, make sure that God is first in your heart, THEN all "these things" are tacked on as well. God promises to provide for me, but to this point, I had focused on that provision, not realizing that He Himself is my provision (John 6). Jesus, having ministered to the woman at the well, tells his disciples, "I have food to eat you know not of", for His food was to do the will of God. Something about doing God's will actually filled his stomach, and He needed nothing else.
My goal then is a refocusing of my heart. I am not saying that I will never eat again, but that my heart should be so tuned to Christ's heart that I will be satisfied no matter what else He adds to me. I am not abandoning my desire, but refocusing my heart. I still desire "all these things", and expect one day to receive them. In God's timing. In God's way. When, so focused on His heart, that they are no longer of prime concern to me, they shall be mine. I can not control the manifestation of these things, but if my heart's desire is for Jesus, I am sure I will have Him!